The truth is, nobody actually enjoys the “vibrancy” of the Queen Street Mall anymore; we just tolerate the screeching buskers and the pigeons because it’s the only way to get to a Myer centre that’s seen better days. Brisbane likes to pretend it’s a “New World City,” but spend five minutes trying to find a park in West End on a Saturday arvo and you’ll realise we’re just a big country town with a fancy bridge and an identity crisis. It’s frustrating. But here we are again, staring down another week of humidity that makes your shirt stick to your back the second you walk out the door.
Table of Contents
About the 2032 cost blowout…
Total madness. The latest figures on the Gabba—or the stadium-formerly-known-as-the-Gabba—rebuild have everyone’s blood boiling. We’re being told that the “end result” will be a world-class precinct, but the price tag keeps shifting like sand at Gold Coast. At this point in time, the government is trying to balance the books while insisting we aren’t going to be paying this off until our grandkids are retiring.
And honestly. The logic of tearing down a perfectly good school to make room for a warm-up track just doesn’t sit right with the locals. But the powers that be seem convinced. They say it’s about the legacy. We say it’s about a massive hole in the budget that could be spent fixing the ramping at the Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital. [Check the latest estimate on the Victoria Park redevelopment costs—I think it’s gone up again].
Wait—the Premier mentioned something about “streamlining” the delivery authority yesterday. That usually means more bureaucrats and fewer shovels in the ground. It’s enough to make you want to head straight to the bottle-o for a six-pack of XXXX and forget the whole thing.
And the Cross River Rail saga…
Tunnels and delays. If you’ve been anywhere near Albert Street lately, you’ve seen the cranes. They are flat out like a lizard drinking down there. But for every metre of track laid, there seems to be another month added to the opening date. It’s a joke.
Commuters are losing their minds. The daily struggle with the Go Card readers at Roma Street is enough to test the patience of a saint. We’re promised a “seamless” connection between the north and south. Right now, it’s just a seamless connection between “waiting” and “more waiting.”
—actually, I saw a bloke yesterday trying to take a surfboard onto a peak-hour train at South Brisbane—
That’s the thing about this city; it’s half-business, half-beach, and entirely confused. If you’re trying to get from the northern suburbs into the city, you’re better off walking some mornings. The buses are packed, the trains are “undergoing essential maintenance,” and the Translink app is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot.
Concerning the Valley after dark…
Safety first. There’s been a spike in “incidents” around the Brunswick Street Mall over the weekend. The police are stepping up patrols, which is a start, I suppose. But it’s not just the nightlife.
Frankly, it’s getting a bit hairy. You’ve got people just trying to grab a late-night kebab who end up dodging a brawl between some blokes who’ve had a few too many at the local. Mate, we just want to enjoy the music scene without needing a riot shield. The council is talking about more CCTV, but we all know that just films the crime; it doesn’t stop it.
I was chatting to a copper near the Fortitude Valley station, and he said they’re worked off their feet. Between the petty theft and the occasional dust-up, the resources are stretched thin. It’s a far cry from the days when you could walk through the Valley with nothing to worry about but a bit of spilled beer on your shoes.
Regarding your rates notice…
Pricey living. Brisbane City Council has just sent out the latest batch of rates notices, and if you haven’t checked your letterbox yet, brace yourself. It’s not pretty. They’re citing “inflationary pressures” and “infrastructure demands” as the reason for the hike.
The end result is less money for your smashed avo. It’s a double whammy when you consider the price of fuel at the servo right now. Have you seen the ULP prices at the Shell on Gympie Road? Disgusting.
Look, we know the “Brown Snake”—that’s the Brisbane River for the uninitiated—needs constant dredging and the parks need mowing, but there’s only so much the average family can take. We’re already paying a premium to live in a city that’s basically a giant sauna for four months of the year. ~~The Council needs to find savings~~ The bureaucrats need to tighten their belts before they ask us to tighten ours any further.
A bit on the weather…
Storm season. It’s that time of year where you don’t leave the house without checking the radar. The Bureau has been pinging our phones every second arvo with “severe thunderstorm” warnings. Most of the time it’s just a bit of wind and a spectacular light show over the Story Bridge, but when it hits, it hits hard.
Flash flooding. We saw it in Milton yesterday. A white ute tried to drive through a foot of water and ended up as a very expensive lawn ornament. Some people never learn.
But that’s Brisbane for you. We moan about the heat, we complain about the rain, and we have a whinge about the traffic on the Coronation Drive. Yet, come Friday afternoon, when the sun is setting and the lights on the river are reflecting off the water, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. Except maybe the Goldie, but the M1 is a nightmare right now anyway.
Stay hydrated, watch the radar, and keep your Go Card topped up. It’s going to be a long, hot summer of construction, council updates, and overpriced coffee.